Split Decisions!

“SPLIT DECISIONS!” So! For those times you can’t make a decision and you don’t want to make a split decision, split! And, sing first. Clears the mind, body heart and soul. Otherwise, you may get a splitting headache. PIMP LOL And, anyone can split and sing. Just ask mike. He’ll tell ya. I bet he wishes he could split sometimes! PIMP LOL. But, really! It does work. And, you don’t need mike. Sometimes, even I don’t feel like singing, but it always clears me out and fills me up. Now! I just made a spit decision to add all my home-made sayings to this post from the last couple days from fb and my other sites. Be easier for me. So, I can split and get some rest. So, here are the goods. And, I hope they are, indeed, goods. And, not bads! PIMP LOL.

When life gets all disheveled? Get out da shovel. And start getting rid of all da mess. Sometimes, in order to dig your life, you have to dig your shovel. And, dig deep! Get rid off da dirt. It’ll keep you grounded. And, that’s on da level. Dig? SIGNED, Dishevelin’ She Dishovlein' Da Dirt

Signs you might be a mummy: wearing rags and moaning. Signs you might be a mommy: wearing rags and moaning. How can you tell the diff? The smile. It’s a dead giveaway. Have fun bein’ a mommy without becoming too mummified. SIGNED, Mamafied

Just cuz you’re sugary sweet don’t make you a doughnut. There’s a whole in that theory. PIMP LOL. SIGNED, Angel Cream Doughnut Lover But Haven’t Had Ones In ages, Hint Hint

Sometimes, you just gotta let things percolate. We get too impatient and want things to perk up early rather than oh so late. Perk-o-so-late? Perk-o-late! PIMP LOL. Have a perky night. See you later. SIGNED, Perk-u-later

So, why do I start off all my stories with “so…”? I like to start you off in stitches, as well as, leave you in stitches! PIMP LOL DUH LOL. Sew true. Well, have a fun night. The day is almost sewn up! Sew long! SIGNED, Sewcial So-er & Sower

And, finally, ‘tis better to speak a thousand words with your expression than with your mouth. PIMP LOL. Signed, Expressly True

Okay. Hope you enjoyed and didn’t split until now. SIGNED, The Decision Maker In The Singer Says Its Time To Split

WHEN LIFE FLOODS IN, SUCK IT UP!

"WHEN LIFE FLOODS IN, SUCK IT UP!" Anyone got a WetVac that sucks? PIMP LOL. Can I borrow it? Even better? Borrow you with it? Otherwise? I'lll have to resort to jumpin' up and down on towels to absorb the wet. And, that really sucks. Okay. Im just gonna go ahead and jump up and down and put fans out and hang curtains to dry. What happened? A slight flood from the rain. Who knew? Is it curtains for me? No way! When something sucks? I suck it up. Don't know 'bout you, but jumpin' up and down on towels is startin' to sound like fun! It's one way to suck it up. Better put on my straight jacket first. If you ain't got no WetVac, no worries. An extra towel and straight jacket await you. Now, I'm sure that help will flood in. Oh! And, yes boots on. I need heavy duty jumpin’ up and down equipment. PIMP LOL. Yes, sometimes I jump up and down… To suck it up. What did my towels have to say? “Jus’ suckin’ it up, too.” BTW, also doing some work for some royalty today. Tightening a toilet seat. PIMP LOL. What? Thrones can be dangerous if they are not set on solid ground. And, besides, I’m always working for another King. Makes any work worth doing it excellently. And, with humor. Hope your day is tight. And, your toilet seat. Jus sayin'! SIGNED, Suckin’ It Up With Excellence

Fancy Pants & All Her Not So Fancy Pants Posts!

"Fancy Pants & All Her Not So Fancy Pants Posts!" Sometimes, you just gotta get out of your fancy pants chair and out of your fancy pants attitude, take off the shades and get out in the streets with everyone else to see everything plain and simple. And, simply equal. We so forget that sometimes. Sometimes, fancy covers up a whole lotta dancy attitudes. People dancin’ ‘round the fact that God created us all equal and thinking we’re better. I have always believed He has such humor. I mean just look at some of the things that make us all equal. No matta how fancy, you cannot dancy around the fact that we all gotta wear deodorant, we all use TP, we all gotta brush our teeth, etc. You get it. AND! We all need Him! All that said, I fancy havin’ fancy stuff, just don’t fancy actin’ like fancy folk. That’s how I fancy it, anyways. BTW, song for today? Fancy. SIGNED, Fancy Pants, Plain Girl

Here are a whole bunch of my home-made not so fancy pants sayings I posted at facebook:

You're prolly right... Not probably. Or even, probaboboly right. So, don't 2nd guess yourself. Sometimes, we don't have enough confidence in what God places in our soul. That is absorbed by our minds. You know when you're prolly right. So, it's prolly a good idea to have a li'l faith! Prolly... Trace

“Tell me all about it! I’m behind you all the way!” You've heard those words and said them yourself! So, make sure when we get behind someone that it’s to have their back. Not to talk about them behind their back. If someone else does that? You don’t have to turn your back on them, or even turn your nose up at them, but you don’t have to turn your heart over to them again, either. You'll know next time to watch your back, so that if bare your soul, you won’t feel like you bared your behind. Thanks guys for having my back and loving me. Right back at ya! Have a fun week. I’ll be back! Trace

I've waited all my life for this moment. Drum roll… Here it is: Something is actually covered on a Warranty! Whoa! Warranties actually warrant a serious rethinking of having warranties. Jus’ sayin’. Or, should I say…umm…jus’ warranting. It’s like insurance. Hate it. Evil “just in case” inventions to keep us all paying for coverage for stuff we’ll usually never use and still having to pay out of pocket for what we really need. Have you ever noticed the 2 words in warranty? “War” and “rant” and y! Why? Indeed! Trace

Life has a way of sometimes kicking you in the teeth, but if you jump high enough, you’ll get kicked in the better place, the behind. So, you can get moving ahead. Sometimes we need a good kick in the behind, but we spend too much time feeling sorry for ourselves, and take what was meant for the behind, on the teeth. Always be ready to jump so you can take it from the behind. Moves you ahead. Let life’s kicks work to your benefit. Instead of giving you a fit. Your rise, instead of your demise. Yes, life keeps us jumping and hopping. So, take it on the hoppers instead of the choppers. Trace


Crackin’ my knuckles and neck to get this day started at the crack of dawn. Takin’ our girl to a school trip with the chorus. I think I hear some cereal poppin' and cracklin’! Oh snap! Then, gonna crack the whip and get us some yard work done. After that? Gonna get crackin’ on our new song. Might even have some cheese and crackers later. And, you know we’ve lived in Florida so long we might even be considered crackers, ourselves! Ain’t that crackin’? PIMP LOL. What else would I write but something to crack you up. Cuz hope and humor help fill in the cracks in our soul. Signed, Cracked Cracker

We 3 Glenn's went out on a mission to get my girl some pink stilettos to go with her prom dress. We were going to go to take her out to eat after but, you know how shoes cost. Good thing. On the way down the road we noticed the name of the Chinese Buffet. It was called Poo Ping Palace. PIMP LOL. Trace

We're repairing our old mailbox and our old toilet paper holder. They both gotta be able to deliver the paper to us. PIMP LOL. Have a fun night. Trace

The only downside of my daughter folding the basket of wash? My clothing amount is downsized. Signed, Basket Case

The li’l kid in me just got out thru one of the holes in my jeans. She is so in trouble when she gets back. I like it when she’s here. She keeps me from poutin’. And, I keep her from doubtin’. Make a good team. Yes, my jeans have holes in them on purpose and my gloves are finger-less on purpose. Blame that on her. The li'l kid in me. I must go along with the li’l kid on some things to keep her hanging 'round in here with the big kid. Like seeing God like the li’l kid in me sees Him. On purpose. Signed, No Poutin’, No Doubtin’, On Purpose

I adore & am intrigued by math. Just some days I wish 1 + 1 didn’t = 2. Some things you can just count on. That’s the good news & the bad news. You do the math. I’m divided on this cuz I like that we can count on things, but some sums, we can do without. We try to solve the same problem expecting a diff answer. The problem multiplies & we’re a product of our own repetition. Sometimes, a few negatives factored into the equation can give you an answer, positive-ly! Just today, as much as I love math & how it relates to music & the heavens, I’m setting aside the math book for a diff book. Sometimes, when things add up, you feel like a fraction of who you thought you were. And, you need the other book to make you whole & not just a number.    Trace

Hanging, But Still Hanging Tough!

"Hanging, But Still Hanging Tough!" So, I'm still learning and playing with the Logitech HD WEBCAM someone gave us to shoot video and photos for our music. Learning lots about photography and video and finding angles and lighting techniques that reduce the looks of the scars and all on the side of my face that I got from a drunk driver that crashed and totaled my Camaro. And, from my seizures and mini stroke lines. I call them hangs. PIMP LOL. What? They hang! But, I hang tougher! Trying to come face to face with them. PIMP LOL. Not vain, just plain! And, just plain trying to learn what angle and what lighting and what miracle looks best to present our plain b.a.s.i.c. selves in video to share our hearts. Don’t want to look like a monster and scare anyone away! Thanks guys, for not judging me. Us. We actually have a hard time putting ourselves in video and photos but we are trying to connect on a personal level, b.a.s.i.cally! BTW, I like the green to cover up. It’s sick! PIMP LOL. I also like the B&W gritty technique at the bottom right. It gets down to the nitty gritty! Ain't it a pity? Gettin' "not as young"! But, my most fave shot? Standing backwards! PIMP LOL. SIGNED, Hanging & Hanging Tough

A Music Cave, A Man Cave & A Shower Cave! In!

"A Music Cave, A Man Cave & A Shower Cave! In!" This photograph is our music cave we call the b.a.s.i.c band studios: The Vinyl Frontier. For the record: I try to look up. Even when I'm gettin' down. PIMP LOL. Either way works. But, today's story is about man caves, too. What? Well, at our house, we have a Man Cave (aka Whoaman Cave), sort of. I call it the whoaman cave. Cuz, it’s got all the whoa man stuff! And, it’s also for the whoaman! You know? That’s what the husband says when he sees her? “Whoaman!” Or, he better! PIMP LOL. Anyways, it’s a room for everyone and has all the cool stuff. Video games, TV, etc. We also have a Music Cave, a Bat Cave (that’s my place when I go batty, it’s pretty and chicified). And, now we have a Shower Cave. Well, make that a Shower CAVE IN! If you know any handyman/plumber that will barter, we so need a shower. The walls are caving, the tub is shot and the hardware is hardly ware at all. In fact, it’s hardly there at all. PIMP LOL. Don’t care if we have a tub. Can barter Cookies For Life (I make the best), Lasagna For Life (I make the best), Music For Life (we try our best), or Payments For life. You wouldn’t want us running around stinky would you? Well, we do have another shower, but it is shot also. In fact, when we replaced a tile temporarily, we found beer cans and cartons in the wall instead of sheet rock. Yes, that’s a likely mistake. Maybe that’s what’s wrong in the other shower. The walls got drunk, threw up and caved in. I think the workers thought the contractor said “hops” to it, instead of hop to it, guys. BTW, speaking of showers? I had some more refreshing thoughts to share, but I took a refreshing shower and they got mixed with the refreshing water and went down the drain. On the up side? So, did all the dirt. Wait, maybe that's on the down side cuz um...dirt goes DOWN the drain? PIMP LOL. You know what I mean. Have a refreshing day. Just let all that dirt go down the drain. Keeps YOU from going down the drain. I'm down with that! I mean, up with that. Well, I'm up AND down with it. 1 thing, I 'm not up and down about? Knowing I'll be refreshed by God's showers of blessings. In the midst of the dirt. Well, I may be up and down, as in jumping up and down. Signed, Bartering Babe, Refreshed Whoaman!

ECSTATIC ABOUT ALL THE STATIC OVER AESTHETIC!

“ECSTATIC ABOUT ALL THE STATIC OVER AESTHETIC!” So, the thing is, someone asked me why I’m in a lot of my stories/illustrations? Well, the stories are usually about my everyday crazy life and I am the only person crazy enough to pose for the stories. Believe me! I’ve asked.  I have always been a visual aesthetic girl. A VEG. Not because I like to veg or because I’m a vegetarian. I’m not. Just Visual, Aesthetic & a Girl! VEG! I just like to have something for the eyes to help tell the story and give it a push to the soul. Like the vids I do for our music. Something for the eyes, the ears and the soul. It took us years to even put ourselves in the vids. We know it’s not about us. And, God knows our hearts. That’s the good news. Amd, the bad news. Oh! And, the Good News! PIMP LOL DUH LOL. With my stories, the photodrama tell the story with the words. It took me many years after I got ill to even be in a photograph. And, I still don’t approve of them. But, you try arguing with her. And, I do like doing the art thing so! I’m always available. Except those days when I’m outta my head. Then, the body follows and I can’t be found anywhere. Not even the attic. Yes, I get ecstatic about the aesthetic, so please don’t give me any static. Heart’s in the right place. Again. Not the attic. Trace

Hahabits, Grabits & Stabits!

“Hahabits, Grabits & Stabits!” Another short story I my “shootin’ the bull”etin series. So, form a good habit and it empowers you to smile and go “ha ha every bit o’ the way. Makes it a hahabit! Form a bad habit? Cuts off the power. Leaves you saying: I promise it’s the last time I grab it. The grab it habit. The grabit! How can we take a stab at it and defeat those grabits? Form a stabit! A formidable habit that empowers you to cut the other grabits out. Before they cut like a knife, splitting you in 2, forever battling with yourself. My stabit and hahabit? God. He and His word are my power. Always showing great form. Helping me take a stab at my opponents. Those nasty grabits. And, makes me smile and be thankful for the hahabits! Form an able habit. That enables you to be formidable against your grabits and stand form in your hahabits. SIGNED, Formidably Ha ha’ing a bit, Formidably Stabbing Alot

Grace

“A Previous Pet Pig Proprietor Who’s Full Of Grace!” So, I was thinkin' about grace this morning... And, how we all must be full of it and give it. Then, with my mind, I started thinking about another Grace. My pig Grace. I miss her. Since, her name was Grace, I guess you could say, she was always giving and full of grace. PIMP LOL. She ate lots of Ramen Noodles with me and Coke from the little bottles and Popsicles. No. I'm not full of it. Well, yes, full of grace, but not the other stuff. She really did eat all that stuff with me. And, one day, a whole giant 50 pound bag of food from the feed store. She was really full of it that day and so was the yard! She was always doing her business ot there. Never made a mess in the house. Cleanest best pet. PIMP LOL. Made the yard so beauteous. All the neighbors always wondered what our secret was. Well, the secret was that our yard was full of grace! PIMP LOL DUH LOL. Have a fun day. Be full of grace. The good kind. Oh! And, the photos? One, she is a baby. The others? She is full of grace. Or something! Scroll through the rest of these few for some grace photos. Signed, A Previous Pet Pig Proprietor